Alone Does Not Mean Lonely
Alone does not mean lonely, and if you’re living solo you probably already know this. According to the U.S. census, there were nearly 40 million single person households making up almost 1/3 of all households! Worldwide it’s around 400 million.
Why Alone Does Not Mean Lonely
We’re a growing group. Thankfully with the internet and other technologies, it’s easier than ever to not only live independently, but thrive while doing it.
I feel as though the outside world mostly gets us wrong. I don’t think we’re any unhappier than people who aren’t living alone. Alone and lonely are not the same and I think this is what most people don’t realize. Are there times when we feel lonely? Of course. But we understand the advantages more than make up for the drawbacks. I know people that are in marriages that feel lonely, so having a partner does not necessarily alleviate that feeling.
I had a discussion recently with someone who lives with their partner. It’s not the relationship she thought it would be. To be more accurate, he’s not the person he turned out to be. Over the last year, she’s stopped wearing dresses, she stopped wearing makeup (which she loves) she’s stopped talking to and going out with her friends. She just stopped living. She’s changed who she is to placate him due to his extreme insecurities. In return he does not help her with anything, no compromises on his part. I likened her situation to that of a prisoner, right down to the uniform. It will end someday, hopefully sooner than later. Until then she’s doing time.
I mention this because people tend to believe the “grass is greener” theory. Remember things are not always as they seem. Life is short. Don’t forget about you. Enjoy what you have and remember that many others envy what we have; the ability to do or not do just about anything, including when and how we want to do or not do it. No justification needed.
The mind-set that you have is also very much in play here. I read online from solo folks where they typically write “how do you deal with the loneliness?”. I’m somewhat surprised by this question every time I read it. Why is that the focus? Are people consumed with the absence instead of appreciating the abundance and if so, why? If you focus on what is lacking in your life then that’s what you will feel. If you focus on the abundance then that’s what you will get. I am so thankful that things are as I’ve left them, that the food I cooked is waiting for me when I’m ready to eat it, that the bed is ready to receive me when I’m ready for it, no matter the hour – without commentary from anyone. There are so many projects I want to do or am doing that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do them all. Loneliness is not even a thought that crosses my mind most of the time.
I’ll be sharing all of the things I’m working on, hope to do and have already done. I’ve learned more than I expected building this site from scratch. You may have no idea of what is out there and what is possible. I didn’t. But I do now. That’s the thing about solo living. Alone does not mean lonely, not even close.